Challenging situations or unexpected news can impact even the strongest of us from time to time. Our responses often run the full gamut of emotions and reactions. However, the way we manage our reactions and emotions depends on how present or conscious we are in the moment as well as our level of acceptance of the situation itself.
Experts discuss several stages of acceptance. These can include: the “why me?” stage, depression, frustration and anger, hopelessness and apathy, impatience, and fear. We’ve all felt these emotions and experienced these reactions, so how do we move past emotional gridlock and reactions to conscious responses? What keys to happiness are hidden in the journey of acceptance?
There is a significant distinction between acceptances versus resignation. One is a conscious choice to address reality as it is and the other is a counter-productive attitude often fueled by acknowledgement of the situation but with significant negative emotion. Acceptance and resignation represent the difference between a life of peace and one of internal suffering.
There will always be someone or something that will present itself in the guise of a challenge or difficulty. These can present themselves as major challenges such as a medical diagnosis, a death in the family, conflicts with your significant other or financial concerns, or they can be the everyday difficulties of traffic jams, long lines at the grocery store or conflicting obligations. The real opportunity in any of these situations is how you choose to feel and act upon them in the moment.
There are several ways to transition from the knee jerk reaction and suffering of resisting a situation to the peace and harmony found in the acceptance of what is in the present moment.
Be Present
- Dealing with the inconsistencies of life requires resilience. Adopting a direction of acceptance is the process by which you acknowledge the essence of your situation and make decisions based on reality and not the fantasy of what you would have liked your situation to be.
- Instead of wasting time ruminating on how it shouldn’t be the way it is or how you wished something could have been, focus on what is and what you are feeling about the situation.
- It does not mean suspending your emotions but rather working through them by allowing them to be what they are without judging yourself.
- If it’s difficult for you in the moment to stop the negative self talk and inner resistance then take a second and tune into how your body feels. Pay attention to your breathing and the clues that it gives to you about your state of being.
Conscious Doing
- The situations in our lives often conceal the solutions within them. Although you may not be happy in a situation, doing what is required in the moment in a state of acceptance allows a sense of peace instead of suffering while performing the task.
- Move from the story of “I am not okay” and choose a state of “I am okay” and list in your mind all the reasons why you will and are getting through the situation.
- These moments are also opportunities to focus your mind on something more postied. Take the time you are delayed in traffic and focus on your goals and dreams and the positive emotions that occur.
Reflection
- Meditation is time spent quietly in no-thought. It allows us time to be still, making time and space for our inner selves to contribute a different perspective or a creative solution.
- Allow meditation time to assist in unearthing the emotional roots of your reactions and suspend your thoughts from the pressures of external judgment.
- We can see more possibilities when we move past our perceptions of what is right or wrong. Acceptance of ourselves and how we feel on the inside is the first step is accepting what is on the outside. This stimulates our creative thinking, increases our hopefulness, and nurtures our inner peace as we open ourselves to trust what is.
- Be authentic regarding your emotions and write down what is in your heart. Journaling allows for a release. Remember that what we carry unspoken in minds and hearts eventually weighs on our spirits. What we do not know that we do not know, our unrevealed thoughts, restrict our self-awareness and our ability to be open and accepting.
- Journaling is also a great way to document you progress as well as revealing the areas and patterns you still need to work on.
Ultimately, acceptance is reaching a point of personal clarity where no external situation can affect your internal state of peace and joy of life. It is responding to change in a manner that is meaningful and mindful. What we resist is our suffering in life. Acceptance allows us to choose not to suffer and gives us the energy and freedom to create our Ultimate Lives. UHL
